My 2 Year Old Daughter Is A Bossy Bitch... And I'm Here For It
Like most 2 year olds, my 2 year old daughter Lucie is a handful. She's very particular about what she wants, likes, and who she's around. If she doesn't like something or a situation she will let you know immediately. If she likes you, you’ll know because she'll remember your name and then add you to the list of people she can call to get her things. She’ll tell you exactly where she wants you to be or to sit when she's trying to eat. She doesn't like when you hug or kiss her, unless she tells you. And her shoes? She loves her shoes. Don't touch her shoes or she'll let you have it.
My daughter is a bossy bitch and I'm here for every second of it.
I don't adhere to many social norms. So, when it comes to raising my children, not doing the norm is almost like a point of emphasis. For as many people as I talk to and observe, its my hypothesis that the social norms we have are what's causing the rifts in our society that the norms are supposed to be normalizing. Now that I have a daughter, you better believe she will be raised to question that society and those norms, fight and stand up for the powerless, be a voice for those who need a voice and shut down any bullshit that gets in the way anyway she is able to, anyway she wants to. Just like her daddy.
I'm not one of those guys who was afraid to have a daughter because I didn't want all the things I try to do with men's daughters to come back to haunt me. Or because I’m going to have to buy training bras, tampons or pads. Or any of the other reasons men commonly cling to when the thought of a daughter comes up when talking about children.
I was afraid to have a daughter (or kids for that matter) because I don't like my net worth and was afraid about providing. I was afraid the ambitions I have for myself would get in the way of time and attention she would need. I was afraid that if I can't find what I need for myself, how can I help my daughter find what she needs for herself. I was just afraid in general.
Like most things in life, shit happens. No matter how afraid of things you may be, sometimes shit will happen and you have to figure out a way to deal. Personally, most of the shit that happened in my life I don't view as a burden - besides me being broke. So when shit happens I don't figure out a way to deal, I figure out a to make the best out of the situation.
I'll be honest, I wasn't here for every second of the idea of having a third child. Especially when I haven't fixed the situation with my 2 boys that live with their mom in California (That's a long sad story, so maybe I'll tell it another time). I'm strong in my personal anti-relationship stance and now I have to deal with another woman for “at least 18 years.” I'm determined to accomplish my goals and dreams, but in the meantime I can't make near enough money the way I would like or the way I don't like. On top of all of that, I was having a daughter? It wasn't time yet. I wasn't ready.
But also like most things in life, nobody fucking cares what you want or have time for.You just have to deal. Which to me means, make the best out of the situation.
Enter Lucie, stage right.
All of my fears don't matter anymore. All insecurities vaporized. All shortcomings became petty grievances. The queen of the world was born, and I was given the responsibility to nurture and guide her until she is able to claim her throne.
She doesn't want my money (for now), she doesn't care about my insecurities, she doesn't care about my dreams and ambitions.
She wants her pillow with her at all times when she's chilling at the house. She wants a regular supply of milk. She wants you to play Secret Life of Pets or Moana on netflix with no hesitation and when it's over you play it again.
Her tablet and phone need to be charged at all times. If not, you'll never hear the end of it. When she has to charge it herself, she won't leave it because it shouldn't take that long in her young inexperienced eyes.
She's into cars, so she gets to pick 2 from her older brothers old Hot Wheels that she wants to nap with. (She usually picks this Audi A6 station wagon to sleep and play with which makes me happy because I'm a huge Audi fan!)
If she's dancing to a song, and you're not dancing to it, she's going to yell at you until you do. Even the dog and turtles are expected to join in. And it's not just dancing, you have to do a specific dance. Pointer fingers up and moving around. Anything else and you're wrong.
When she wants princess time, you make her beautiful and get her princess shoes (These open toe, pink, plastic wedges that she likes for princess time). When she shows you her beauty you gasp in awe like you've never seen such a sight.
Ok. That last one is what I do on my own because, that's what it feels like when I see her.
She's mean, loud, demanding, stubborn, and very clear about what she wants. She's also loving, caring, smart, bold, brave, and she's only 2. She already possesses most of the things we know as adults we need to survive in a world like this.
And I refuse to change a thing. Well, mostly.
Lucie is who Lucie is. It's not my job as a father to tell her what to be, what to do with her body, or how to act unless her behavior is unacceptable by any standard. Don't get me wrong, discipline and shutting any destructive, inappropriate, and unacceptable behavior goes without saying. But, most of my job is to guide her, support her, and teach her lessons she may not see or understand on her own. There will be no purity balls, “How to be a lady" speeches, forcing her to be submissive lectures, indoctrinating her in “her role" lessons in my household. And honestly, between you and me, I doubt she would listen to that bullshit anyway.
You must have not heard me the last time. My daughter is a bossy bitch and I'm here for every second of it!
People are and are going to be surprised how much control I give her with her decisions and life, and frankly we don't give a rats ass. The principles of equity and equality are best taught at home. So, what better way for me to practice what I preach, than treating and allowing my own daughter to be how I would like to see all women treated. Especially women of color.
This is my daughter's world now. She is the master of her destiny and I am her safety net. She isn't here for your consumption. She doesn't have to follow your outdated social norms and rules. As long as her decisions don't hurt herself and/or others, who am I, or anyone of you to judge? Why wait for change, when you can raise it?
My daughter is and will always be a bossy bitch. I'm going to nurture that bitch until she is ready to be a boss on her own and there is nothing the world can or will do about it. As long as she lives, she will have me or my aura by her side to let her know she can and should pull any trigger that pushes her where she wants to be.
My name is John Pennymon and I approve this message.