Sunday, September 6, 2015

To Those Whom Shall Still Remain Nameless

Here I am.  After 3 weeks of a deactivated Facebook account, I am reactivated and am here to address some things.  First off I want to say that I made great friends who now, unfortunately, have doubts due to recently being told that I am someone I am not.  I truly apologize because I am not being represented accurately.  Everything I have said and did in those respective groups were genuine and sincere.  I want to say thank you for being such wonderful people, and I will continue to fight the good fight.

Recently a podcast used our audio clips from a few of our shows and edited them to fit their own personal agenda.  They deny this. They asked for "receipts" of this wrongdoing.  My co-host and I both suggested that they listen to their episode with the edited clips, and then listen to our actual episode, and then they would be able to see that they truly took us out of context.  They refused to do this and said the shows themselves weren't receipts.  Noted.

One of the hosts from that podcast is in a group that I was in as well.  After making a long post on their profile that mentioned me by name suggesting that I was someone who I am not, the post took the internet by storm. Soon mutual friends from this group (which I have not nor will not name on my my podcast, personal FB nor in this blog) commented, some blocked me, and some re-posted: and with much confusion. "Receipts" were requested by this person's post in order to make a reference list for the accusations listed, but only links to our show were posted.  As noted in above paragraph, these are not valid "receipts." I do understand how this can be confusing, seeing as the person I was accused of being does not reflect the person I actually am, which is the same person that was an active part of many Facebook groups.  

Many questions were asked.

1. "So why did you create a fake Facebook account in order to infiltrate [specific] spaces."
I am so sorry that people feel that way.  Pepper Land's first post was "This is Molly McIntyre, new screen name.  Please bare with me while I transfer over."  I befriended many people that I was friends with on my main profile, whom I met in various groups, one of which was the admin, so they would be aware of my identity.  It is also worth mentioning that I personally messaged that admin with my identity so that I would not later be accused of infiltrating any spaces (I have the receipt), as I have seen it happen before.  I joined a few groups, and was active in them.  I made it known who I was so that people wouldn't think anything negative.

It happened anyways.

2. "So why do you spend time on your podcast speaking against the people of whom you claim to support and defend? And why do you support the silencing black women and trolling specific groups."
As far as most of the accusations go,  I will not comment further on what I feel is character assassination towards me.

The only group on FB that I trolled was Hotep Singles, whom are a bunch of brainwashed, self absorbed, anti-feminist, misogynistic, and delusional group of people.  I trolled so hard that I exposed myself and yet am STILL a member (although I no longer participate)!!  I actually coined the term "Tiny Kang."

Also, I have never mentioned specific people or groups (besides Hotep Singles) on my podcast.

3. "So you said you're adopted.  Then you said you were white.  Then you said you were raised white. Then you said you didn't know what your race is!"
I was attending a cookout with my partner's family July 19th, 2015, and because I was barely using my phone that day, I didn't take notice when a member from a group I was in created a post which requested responses from white women.  Later that evening I was specifically summoned (as a "white woman") to respond on the post.  I stated the reason I hadn't responded, which is that I don't consider myself the person who was being called on to respond, and I had been busy that day. The author of the post was unhappy with my reasons (they had seen me comment on other posts and was upset I hadn't commented on theirs) and the conversation quickly turned to the accusation that I had previously referred to myself as white. The person who summoned me was unhappy with my response, blocked me, and then continued on in the conversation.

I don't know how many times I have said this, but I will say it again for the record.

I do not know my race,  I was adopted at 5 days old by an all white family.  I was raised by an all white family.  I was raised "white" you could say.  As far as documentation goes, I do not know my race.  I have no documentation.  I didn't come with a starter pack nor a starter guide.  I didn't come with instructions or tips.  My birth certificate does not state my race, and in fact, it lists my adoptive parents as my birth parents.  In the state of Ohio ,we do not list ethnicity on our ID or driver's license. The only way I will say that I know my race is if I undergo DNA testing (which is my decision and no one else's), or if I am able to sit down with my biological family and go over my ancestry (which again, is my decision and no one else's.)

I have mentioned that I have biracial children many times.  Perhaps I have been using the term wrong because I was told that stating they were biracial meant I was admitting to being white.  In the future I will refer to them as black and "I don't know what else".

So anyways, if this means that I am not allowed to be a part of a group because I can't be labeled and placed into a box for everyone's comfort, than so be it.  I'd rather be honest than lie, and the truth is, I do not know my race.

The thing about not knowing my race: it is possible that I am white.  It is possible that I am Latino.  It is possible I am Mediterranean.  It is possible I am Middle Eastern.  It is possible I am Turkish. You name it and at this point, it is possible. Why? BECAUSE I DO NOT KNOW MY RACE!

A photo was submitted a few days ago as evidence of my race.  It was a photo taken October of 2011 with my friend Jahlawl, a friend who's racial ambiguity is often assumed as white, but in fact has an Irish mother and Black father.

  
Yes.  That is me on the left in the photo.

4.  "I was told that you're a victim shamer and misogynist."
On our podcast in regards to Ray Rice, we repeatedly stated that when Ray Rice hit Janay last February of 2014, it was not ok.  We didn't agree nor were "ok" with his actions.  Our original reason for airing this story at all was because Ray was originally given a 2 game suspension.

*crickets*

2 games?  Really?  We watched him drag his unconscious fiance out of an elevator.  2 games?  Really?  Is this a joke?  No?  He needed to be held accountable.  2 games is not enough.  The NFL was sweeping this under the rug. Unacceptable.  Then a few months later, the other video aired of him hitting her.  Then the NFL changed their mind about his punishment.  It was basically an NFL "double jeopardy." Our comment was that it was too late.  He already had gone to court.  He had already fulfilled his obligations from the court.

As being a victim of physical domestic abuse many years ago, I was reminded of my own personal experience and of the man whom never was held accountable for his actions.  I, however, had no difficulty separating my experience from theirs. A huge problem I had with this situation was showing Janay being hit, on a loop, for over 48 hours.  I can't imagine the pain that she was feeling as she watched herself be hit hundreds of times. It should not be up to the media to force us to relive our own personal pain.

Janay chose to stay.  Whether or not we agree with her decision, we have to accept that she is making the best decision for herself, their child and family. Man, let's hope she did.  What we also stated was that she as well was originally charged with domestic assault, but they dropped her case.  She admitted to playing a physical part, as well as did the 2 bottles of tequila they shared at dinner with another couple, on that Valentine's Day 2014. We stated the facts, but we never defended Ray nor will we.

It is in my opinion, however (which I am allowed to have) that we as women, are not perfect and flawless human beings.  No one is.  On that note, it is not right for a man to hit a woman, nor it is right for a woman to hit a man.  It is also not right for a man to hit a man, nor is it right for a woman to hit a woman.  I know so many woman who are easily capable of doing serious physical damage to a man.  I know women who show visible greater strength then a man.  We as women.. are strong.  We are a different kind of strong.  Mentally, we are warriors, and then to match that with our physical strength? We can tear any person apart. We have children.  Men don't know pain.  Yet we always endure and many times agree to doing it many times over.  We can be beyond comparison when our adrenaline kicks in, yet sometimes, we don't even need that adrenaline.  We are capable of hurting other humans, including men, and when we do inflict physical harm and it is not justified, we should be held accountable.

For the misogyny accusation, continue to #5.

5.  "You said you were there for me as a victim of [different abuses.]  So you lied? I am confused."
I gave my number to a few people over FB.  If you are hurting, I am here for you.  Whether it be depression or any other personal pain,  I will never make you feel like you were wrong. I will never tell you just get over it. I will never say that what happened to you was ok. I won't brush you off.  That isn't my nature.  That isn't healthy.  If you are hurting I am going to be there for you to the best of my ability.  If you are struggling and about to pick up the phone and call a past abuser because you still haven't healed, let me be that phone call. Fuck them, man or woman.  Don't let that bitch hold you captive.  And yes, if it was a woman causing you harm, I am going to call them a bitch. (In reference to #4, that isn't misogyny).  I don't care who hurt you (well, yes, yes I do care.)  I refuse to let my friends feel that they are at the mercy of the person who caused them pain and suffering.  I told you I was there for you then, and regardless of what I have been made out to be or look like, I am still here for you now and forever in the future.  I am so sorry if you feel like I don't support you, because I do.

6. "You aren't a feminist if you don't support all victims, in fact, you're a rape apologist." 
If you are referring to the example that I mentioned on our podcast when I had a conversation with someone whom used to be a friend, that in short went: "I had [consensual] sex with this guy I was dating while my boyfriend and I weren't together.  So we got back together and my boyfriend found out.  In a panic I told him the other guy raped me.  Now my boyfriend is pissed and wants me to press charges.  I feel really bad but I can't lose my boyfriend again." When someone admits that they are being dishonest and admits that they were not raped, they are not a victim.  This is not ok on so many levels. It just isn't. The accused could be your brother, uncle, father, or best friend,  I can't support a lie that could destroy another person's life.  This does not make me a MRA either.

Emmitt Till anyone?

I am not downplaying anyone's personal story. Furthermore, I can't support a completely false accusation just to show my support of another woman, because that's what a feminist "should do."

If being a feminist means that I am supposed to keep my mouth shut when I know that someone has used rape in order to fit their agenda and are willing to destroy an innocent person's life, than I suppose I am not a feminist.

7.  "Are you having someone who is still in the group spy for you?"
A friend did contact me about this after it was posted for the second time and she was specifically called on to be my spokesperson. She actually told me that people believe we know each other in real life, but we do not.  She told me the jist of what was being said and I told her what I am saying in this post. I actually told her at the end of our conversation, that I didn't want to know what anyone said from there forward.  I haven't spoken to her since.

8. "So you befriended people and used them as a study group to talk about them on your podcast?"
That has never happened so I can't expand on this.

9. "So then why have you have been directly naming [specific group] and people on your BS podcast?"
I can safely assume you actually haven't listened to our podcast.

We're on iTunes, Stitcher Radio, TuneIn Radio, Podomatic
We are also featured on Netroots Radio and on Axam Live

10.  "You always cosign with your co-host who is a misogynist and a hotep."
I don't cosign.  I co-host. I am not John.  John is commonly called a lot of things.  John and I have different views on a lot of things.  We have had several arguments on the show about how he feels about a lot of things.  He is a guy.  He can be an idiot.  He can be an asshole.  I will say though, he's pretty smart.  He is also pretty reasonable. He lacks the emotional opinion that most  people have which tends to get him in a lot of trouble. Hotep?  He will admit in a heartbeat that a woman is above him.  He supports feminism, he will apologize when he's wrong, and ask to learn more. He is a stubborn Aries. If you have a problem with him, talk to him.

*****

I am sure this won't change anyone's mind and will most likely only start an entirely new discussion about me but questions were asked and have now been answered.  I again apologize to anyone who feels that they were betrayed.  I wish you all the best and hope this has cleared the fog for you a bit.

Molly 

















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